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Separate children to teach lesson

By Jon Busdeker on May. 24, 2007

Dear Emily: I am having a problem with my two youngest daughters, ages 7 and 4, and sibling rivalry. No matter what I try, they can’t seem to play together without fighting or name calling. I know I can’t force them to be friends, but how can I get them to just be civil to each other?
— Feuding Children

Dear Feuding Children: Try separating them. Children want to play with other children, so if you tell them they are not allowed to play with each other, they may begin to learn the lesson that fighting is less fun.
Another option is to come up with certain activities for them to do together that are age appropriate. Part of the fighting could be from their age difference, so if you give them a project to do (each with a separate goal), they may learn to work well together.
As for the name calling, you need to put an end to that. Whatever you typically use as a form of punishment should be used when it comes to this behavior.
Not only do you want to teach your children that teasing each other is mean, but they need to be reminded that being insulting toward anyone will not be tolerated.

Have a question on love, life, or etiquette? Don't be shy - Ask Emily by e-mailing her at AskEmilyAdvice@gmail.com or writing in care of The Burg, P.O. Box 10129, Lynchburg, VA 24506.

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