Reporting crime is community obligation
By Jon Busdeker on May. 10, 2007
Dear Emily: I saw a woman steal something at the grocery store the other day. She put a bag of chips in her purse and then walked out of the store. I didn’t say anything to anyone, but was wondering if I should have told the manager or confronted the woman. I hate to be a tattletale, but I want to do what is morally right as well.
— Shrugged Off Stealing
Dear Shrugged Off Stealing: You have to account for your own well-being in addition to what is morally right and wrong.
Confronting someone yourself may not be the best option in this case. What if a person got angry and turned violent? It’s best to let people trained for these situations do their jobs.
Telling the manager would have been a good idea. This way, even if the woman already left the store, management could be on the look out for her next time, or decide to beef up security.
Reporting a crime, remember, is not tattle-telling. It’s your obligation to your community.
Dear Emily: I have been seeing this guy off and on for about 2 1/2 years. He says that I am his “special friend,” but the only time he has anything to do with me is once a month or once every two months. The little time that I am with him, when I do see him, is really special to me. I have feelings for him and I pray every day that our friendship will get better. I think a lot of him. At one point he told me he had a girlfriend, then a couple of months later, he called me and said he didn’t have a girlfriend, he wanted to see me. I have tried to be the best friend I can be to him — I will do anything for him and he knows that. I feel that if he knows he can go out and do anything he wants to do, and see anyone he wants to see, then he can always come back to me because he knows that I will be there for him. I am so depressed about this situation because I care so much for him, and I don’t understand why he keeps doing this to me. It is hurting me so bad, but all at the same time, I care a lot about him and I do not want to do anything to lose the little friendship that I have with him. Please give me some advice on what I should do.
— Needing More Than a Friend
Dear Needing More: You say you don’t understand why he keeps doing this to you, but it is clearly because you let him.
Your “friend” knows that you will be there for him whenever he wants. He takes you for granted and doesn’t take your relationship as seriously as you do.
The best option is to confront him about his behavior. Remind him that you are good to him and don’t deserve to be treated like you don’t matter.
If he continues to use you, you should cut all ties with him. This could either push him into taking your relationship more seriously, or push him away completely.
I know you don’t want to lose the “little” friendship that you have, but you must open your eyes to see that this is no friendship at all. Friends, or boyfriends, don’t just stop by once in while when it suits their needs. This relationship is causing you to be depressed and you need to put an end to it.
Dear Emily: My husband has been out of work for a few weeks, and now I’m afraid he doesn’t want to go back! He has been enjoying his time home, getting hobbies worked on he’s neglected for a while, and even playing some golf. But when a recruiter called him about a job opening, he didn’t take it. I’m afraid he is losing motivation to get out of the house and do some work that actually makes us some money.
— Unemployed Husband Not Unhappy
Dear Unemployed Husband: It seems like you need to make staying at home a little less enticing.
With no money coming in, that should certainly mean no golf. Cut back on those extra expenses.
And instead of working on hobbies, I am sure there are chores that need to be done by your husband that have been neglected around the house.
Now, everyone deserves a vacation and you shouldn’t deny your husband some time to relax, but a few weeks seems like a good amount of time — especially if you both depend on his income. So get to work on getting your husband to work!
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