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Let friend know what you’re feeling

By Jon Busdeker on Jul. 05, 2007

Dear Emily: I am expecting my first child soon, and one of my best friends “Adriana” told me that she couldn’t make it for the baby shower. I was upset, but accepted the fact that she was busy. Well, the shower has come and gone, and she didn’t even send a present. I am really hurt and want to say something, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m only upset about a gift. Should I even say something?
— Baby Shower Blues

Dear Baby Shower Blues: If you feel that your friend has let you down, then you should definitely say something. Otherwise, things may continue to get worse.
Be honest about your feelings and most likely Adriana will know that your concern is not about a gift, but rather her lack of interest. Don’t accuse her of anything, just explain to her how important this occasion was to you and how her lack of presence (and presents) made you uncertain if she really gets just how important.
Give her a chance to explain and make amends. Perhaps after you fill her in to your feelings, she’ll change her attitude.

Have a question on love, life, or etiquette? Don't be shy - Ask Emily by e-mailing her at AskEmilyAdvice@gmail.com or writing in care of The Burg, P.O. Box 10129, Lynchburg, VA 24506.

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