Is He Into Me or What?
By Jon Busdeker on Apr. 05, 2007
Dear Emily: I have met a man at church. He and I are very cordial with one another. I have had parties at my home where he has attended and met three of my close girlfriends. We hug and speak when we are at church as though we are just friends, but recently we have shared some intimate moments - heavy kissing, after which I make up some sort of excuse not to go any further. I like him and I believe he likes me. I don’t want our friendship to end once sexual activities come into play. I would like to know what questions to ask leading into the next level of our relationship that will give me a feeling that “he is into me.” You see, when he comes to my house to visit, he never brings anything with him or asks if I need anything. The reason I am questioning his actions in this area is because when I visit someone’s home and I know that I am going to be depleting their supply of anything, i.e. drinking and eating, I usually like to take a bottle of wine, chips, etc. to let them know that I am not just coming to be an expense or an inconvenience. So far my friend being week in this area is a minor fraction that is holding me back from really letting him in my life.
- Is He Into Me or What?
Dear Is He Into Me: A guest repeatedly coming to your house empty-handed could just means he doesn’t know any better. Don’t read too much into this.
However, if you are concerned that this potential love interest may only have one thing in mind, you do need to confront him. If you want a relationship with this guy, you need to find out what he wants. Make plans to go out to dinner or coffee where you can find time to talk. Straight out ask him what he thinks about your relationship as it is now, and how serious does he expect things to get.
If he has problems answering this, nudge him along by asking if he is seeing anyone else. If he says he is just having fun and doesn’t want to define what you have, he may not be ready for a serious commitment. And therefore, you may want to hold off on the make-out sessions before you become too emotionally involved.
COMMENTS
She met a guy at church, and now they are going to have “sexual activities”? Is the Bible read at this church?
May I suggest the fear of a depletion of wine and chips should be eclipsed by the fear of the displeasure of a Holy God who has forbidden any sexual “activities” outside of the marriage bed.