Help friends reach potential
By Jon Busdeker on Jun. 28, 2007
Dear Emily: I have worked with two friends, “Tom” and “Adam,” for more than a year at an insurance firm. We go out for drinks every week to let off some steam about the long hours and hard work we put in, but I’m worried that my friends are struggling a little too much. I’ve been at this firm for several years, and I don’t think they are picking things up as fast as other employees have. How do I tell them, without offending them, that maybe this line of work is just too advanced for them?
— Relaying Reality
Dear Relaying Reality: Perhaps you are looking at this in the wrong way. If these guys are your friends, why not help them reach their full potential rather than discourage them from doing a good job? Give them pointers on how to do a better job or about what makes a better employee.
If you have any recommendations for books or other learning material, let them know. Be sensitive and approach them in a way that lets them know you want to help them advance in the company, not insult their performance.
If this doesn’t work, or they are uninterested in your help, then be supportive and let them follow their own path.
It doesn’t sound like they asked for your opinion, so letting them know you doubt their potential is a sure way to lose your friends.
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