Consider friends’ comments
By Jon Busdeker on Jun. 07, 2007
Dear Emily: I am angry with my friends and confused about their behavior. See, I have been dating my boyfriend “Bruce” for a little more than seven months, and he just proposed! I know it seems fast, but we are so much in love. When I asked my best friends if they thought I was making the right decision, one said marriage was too soon and the other said she didn’t like Bruce! I don’t see how they can say these things and why they would be so hurtful.
— Done Asking Questions
Dear Done Asking Questions: Sometimes people ask questions that they don’t really want the answers to, like “Do I look fat?” So while you were expecting your friends to merely reinforce the decision you made, they felt this occasion was not one of those times that they should just say what you want to hear.
Don’t be angry with your friends. Instead, be grateful that they care enough about you to be honest and risk hurt feelings in order to do what they think is right. After all, they are your best friends, and they are most likely not saying these things to be hurtful.
As such, perhaps you should focus more on what they are saying rather than on how they have made you feel.
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