Ask Emily: Office controversy
By Casey Gillis on Apr. 24, 2008
Dear Emily: A woman at work keeps belittling my faith by making fun of the Pope. “Tracy” keeps complaining about how much press coverage the Pope’s visit had and how adults were acting like starstruck teenagers when they were in his presence. I tried to explain to her the significance of the Pope’s visit from a Catholic perspective, but she just laughed in my face and said, “Oh, you’re one of those people,” like just because I’m religious I’m an idiot or something. Should I just ignore her insults or complain to my boss?
— God is great
Dear God is great: Haven’t you heard? Religion and politics don’t make great conversation topics at the office. So ignore Tracy and change the subject. Don’t waste your time trying to teach her something about faith because she obviously is a close-minded individual. Ask her politely to just agree to disagree, then talk about the weather, or anything else less controversial.
Dear Emily: My boyfriend’s best friend, “Tom,” is a complete sexist, and I can’t stand him. I do my best to avoid him, but on busy weeks when my boyfriend and I don’t have much time to hang out together, we usually end up spending time at his place on the weekend when some of his friends are over. Last week Tom threw a fit because I was going to stay and watch the NASCAR race with a few of the guys. He insisted that “chicks have no business” watching something that “they don’t understand.” How do I put Tom in his place and get him to keep his mouth shut?
— Chauvinist showdown
Dear Chauvinist showdown: You can prove to him that women do know something about sports. And (surprise, surprise) even participate in them as well. Next week, ask Tom what Danica Patrick would say to a narrow-minded statement like his (she recently won the Indy Japan 300 and became the first female winner in IndyCar history). If that doesn’t work, just ignore him. I know that sounds like advice your mom would have given you when a bully was picking on you in the third grade, but it works. And Tom is, after all, acting like a third-grader.
Dear Emily: What is an appropriate amount of money to spend on a wedding gift? I am recently out of college, and a friend of mine invited me to her wedding. I have to travel pretty far and get a hotel for the occasion, which costs a lot, so I don’t have a lot of extra money for a gift. But I don’t want to look cheap either.
— Wedding worries
Dear Wedding worries: The bride and groom will certainly enjoy counting their loot from all the wedding guests after the big day is over, but that isn’t why you were invited. Your friend wants you to be part of the celebration, so don’t worry about how much you spend. Just give what you can afford, and give from the heart. To avoid looking cheap, don’t give a gift card, but chose something off her registry. You can buy something inexpensive, like a wooden spoon set, and give the gift a personal touch by getting something she didn’t register for (like maybe your favorite recipe book) to go with it. This guarantees that the bride gets something that she likes but doesn’t really know how much you spent.
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