Ask Emily: Never too early to save
By Susan Pugh on Jul. 16, 2008
Dear Emily: I just had a baby a few months ago and my parents asked me if I started a college fund for her yet. What?! I can’t even find the time to eat a hot meal; how am I supposed to find time to talk to an accountant or investment banker about college funds? Isn’t it a little early for that anyway?
- Costly Concerns
Dear Costly Concerns: Considering the average cost of a four-year private college is somewhere over $30,000 right now, there is no time like the present to start saving for college. And let’s just hope your daughter doesn’t want to go to an Ivy League university or medical school (well, you know what I mean). Don’t panic though; there are plenty of saving options out there for you, and some that don’t take up much time at all to set up. Start by going to savingforcollege.com to learn about 529 college plans. These plans are a pretty simple way to invest money and offer some nice tax breaks as well. You may feel now that you have time to put this off, but with the cost of tuition so high, every month you save is crucial.
Dear Emily: I have a shopping problem that my bank account can’t handle. Every time I have a social event to go to, even if it’s just a small party, I feel I have to have a new outfit. The only time I seem to feel good about myself is when I’m wearing new clothes. This would be fine if I only bought something new once a month, but like I said, any gathering requires a new outfit in my mind, so I end up buying at least four new outfits a month. I’m broke and I don’t know how to get over this weird addiction.
- Out of control with clothing
Dear Out of control with clothing: Without knowing more about you (or attending medical school), I can only guess that you have a serious self-esteem problem. New outfits are a great way to boost your confidence. After all, what woman wouldn’t feel more attractive in a new, brand-name blouse opposed to some shirt people may have seen you wear the week before? But now that your shopping has become an addiction, you must find other ways to feel good about yourself. First, dig deep inside that head of yours and determine what it is that you don’t like about yourself. Then work on changing your negative attitude. Every time you start to feel bad, or have the urge to shop, remind yourself of your good traits. If it’s your appearance that you aren’t happy with, think about more important things like who you are on the inside. Ask yourself what makes you a good person, and focus on your answer.
Dear Emily: I know times are constantly changing, so I have an embarrassing question about the current dating scene. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of six years and was wondering how long a woman typically waits before having sex with a guy she is dating? Is there still such a thing as casual sex?
- Back in the game
Dear Back in the game: I have a problem with the word “typically.” When deciding if the time is right to have sex with a person, you should decide what feels right to you, not what the norm is. Casual sex may still be in style for some, but do you really want to start sleeping around with people because it’s what everyone else is doing? Instead, ask yourself how comfortable you are with someone, if you love him, and if he loves you. Decide, based on your own morals and principal, when the time is right. I can’t give you a specific timeline; some women wait until they’re married while others feel a few weeks is long enough to wait. But I can tell you that good relationships take time to develop, and sex is one part of the equation that doesn’t need to be rushed.
COMMENTS