Ask Emily: Monumental venture
By Casey Gillis on Oct. 15, 2008
Dear Emily: I read this morning the advice you gave someone regarding their friend who wanted to travel (through) Europe, working as she went along. I think your advice, while well-intentioned, was bad. It would have been wiser to suggest that the clueless friend first spend a few months traveling the United States and working as she goes along then, if she is still alive, go to Europe. By doing this, she won’t run into language or cultural barriers, and it will still give her a taste of what it’s like, at least mechanically. If she can’t land a job here while traveling, she’s in trouble when she gets to Europe.
- My two cents
Dear My two cents: Thank you for your opinion, and I’ll admit, good advice. When taking on such a monumental venture, like traveling abroad independently, it is always a good idea to take baby steps at first (if that is an option). However, I would argue that if a person only has a few months of time to travel (as in this case), taking time to “practice” might not be practical. It takes time to find a job, whether in the United States or abroad, so if our traveler in question expects to get work and take time to sightsee, a trial run in the States could be a waste of valuable time.
Dear Emily: I am 17 years old and am having trouble getting pregnant. I have been trying to get pregnant with my boyfriend for three months now, with no luck. I’ve followed some tips I found on the Internet, but nothing seems to work. Do you think my age could have something to do with it? I’ve heard of people being too old to have kids, which is one of the reasons I want to have a baby now, but I’ve never heard of someone being too young.
- Delivery deadline
Dear Delivery deadline: I can’t in good conscience answer your question without addressing the fact that you are too young to have a baby and, apparently, trying to get pregnant for the wrong reasons. Babies cost money - a lot of money. Do you have a plan in place to pay for a crib, diapers, formula and about another hundred things you need to have on hand? Don’t forget about doctor visits and possibly daycare. Are you ready to put your life on hold for a baby? That means no going out with friends, to the movies or any place else for a while. And let’s not overlook the fact that you’re not married - a boyfriend is nice to have, but it’s not the same thing as a husband. He is under no obligation to support you financially. But to answer your question, a woman’s fertility naturally starts to decline in her late 20s, so your age shouldn’t be causing a problem. That means you have at least eight more years to worry about your chances of getting pregnant diminishing.
Dear Emily: My sister has been divorced for a few months now and has already started dating. Her marriage didn’t even last two years, and I’m worried that she is rushing into the same mistakes as before. It seems she just can’t be without a guy in her life. How do I get her to slow down on the dating scene and make her realize that she doesn’t have to have a boyfriend to be complete?
- Dating isn’t a race
Dear Dating isn’t a race: Sometimes you just have to let people live their own lives and make their own mistakes. Your sister is an adult, and even if she doesn’t use the best judgment all of the time, you can’t run her life for her. You can, however, give her your opinion on her boyfriend(s) when she asks. You can warn her if she is acting in a way that is potentially harmful. And you can remind her of what a great person she is when a guy is not in the picture. But other than that, you’ll just have to let your sister make her own choices.
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