Ask Emily: Learn to compromise
By Casey Gillis on Aug. 26, 2009
Dear Emily: I am a 14-year-old girl with a big problem. My mom just won’t accept me for me. We went clothes shopping for school, and she bought me all of these skirts and dresses and things I would never be caught dead in. I tried to tell her those things just aren’t me, but she refuses to listen. She says I can’t look like a “bum” by wearing the things I want. How do I get my mom to let me be myself? — My life
Dear My life: I hate to tell you, but your teenage years are only going to get more complicated from this point on when it comes to parental control. As you get older and want more and more independence, your mom will want more and more to protect you (and tell you how to live your life). But don’t get discouraged: I’ll let you in on a little secret that can really come in handy over the next few years (and with this clothes issue as well). Learn to compromise. If you are willing to concede some arguments to your mom, you’d show maturity. As a result, you’d illustrate to her that you are capable of making adult decisions once in a while. Take this clothes issue for example. If you give in to your mom and admit that your style of dress could be considered sloppy, maybe she would be willing to compromise. Perhaps she could forget about those skirts and dresses if you’d be willing to let her give her input on the clothes you would like. Of course, she does have the final say since she is your mom and the one paying the bill, but give compromising a try. It could really make your life easier down the road.
Dear Emily: I bought someone’s old cell phone on Craigslist, and the thing just never worked. I should have tried it out before I gave the guy cash for it, but I was in a rush and didn’t. When I e-mailed the seller and asked for my money back, he said “no.” Do I have any options here, or am I just out the money I paid? — Buyer’s remorse
Dear Buyer’s remorse: I’m not a lawyer, but I imagine that if you are positive (and have proof) that this guy knowingly sold you a faulty product without disclosing the truth, you could try taking him to small claims court. If you signed anything, though, that said you agree to buy the product “as is,” I think you are out of luck. Your best bet is to e-mail the guy again and see if he is willing to split the cost of the phone so you aren’t completely at a loss. If he refuses, you could ask a lawyer (even one online) what your options are, if any. But before you do that, weigh the cost of what you paid for the phone against the time and money you’d have to put into getting something back for it. It probably won’t be worth the aggravation of pursuing the matter. You may just want to consider this a lesson learned: Always check your merchandise before payment.
Dear Emily: What are your thoughts on Botox? I’ve always known that growing old gracefully wasn’t going to be my thing and, now that I’m approaching 40, I’m thinking of having some work done. — Beauty is not just on the inside
Dear Beauty is not just on the inside: To be honest, before I read your question, my only thoughts about Botox were negative ones. All I knew was that certain celebrities were mocked for their expressionless faces due to these injections. But I did a little research and found out that Botox has a lot of medical benefits, as it can be used to treat certain conditions involving muscle spasms. But when it comes to cosmetic use, I am still not a fan of Botox. Using it to smooth out wrinkles sounds good in theory, but the cons just seem to outweigh the pros for me. It is expensive and, while considered very safe, it still has some possible risks (for example, you could possibly end up with a droopy eyelid, double vision or the inability to move certain muscles in your face). If you want a better, safer and cheaper way to reduce wrinkles, start by trying some fancy anti-wrinkle creams.
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