Ask Emily: Just say no to exgirlfriend
By Casey Gillis on Jan. 18, 2008
Dear Emily: I recently broke up with my girlfriend “Maureen,” but she keeps calling me. She makes up excuses, like, she thinks she left something at my apartment or she just wants to see how I’m doing. A couple of times she has asked if I wanted to get lunch and just hang out as friends. The thing is, I’m afraid she doesn’t just want to be friends. Should I keep taking her calls and going out with her to ease the blow?
- Break-up blunders
Dear Break-up blunders: You are not doing yourself, or Maureen, any favors by keeping in contact with her. If your ex truly wants to rekindle the relationship, you are only giving her false hope by leading her on. You may think you are doing the compassionate thing by slowly cutting ties, but it is in fact cruel to let Maureen think there is hope for the two of you as a couple, if there isn’t. Stop agreeing to see her and stop the phone conversations. Think of it like a Band-aid; sometimes removing it quickly, and getting the pain over and done with, is the best way to handle the situation.
Dear Emily: Can you give me some marital advice on how to keep my husband interested in me, you know, in an intimate way? We’ve been married six years, and I don’t want to the flame to go out as I see with many other couples.
- Hot to trot
Dear Hot to trot: Well there is nothing more exciting than a little change. Couples sometimes fall into the same “routines” when it comes to intimacy, so spice things up a little bit. Not sure how to do this? Take a look at the book “365 Days of Sensational Sex,” to get an idea for every day of the year. Or, if you are like most married couples, I’m sure you can make the book last for a bit longer than that! Also remember that intimacy is not all about what happens in the bedroom. Affection is very important as well. Rent some romantic movies and cuddle on the couch. Hold hands while going on a leisurely walk. Tell each other how much you love one another several times a day. Finding ways to let someone know you care is a surefire way to keep that fire burning.
Dear Emily: I don’t like my boyfriend’s dog, “Harley.” He is mean, barks incessantly, and is very threatening looking when I’m at my boyfriend’s place. I know he’ll never get rid of the dog, but I am just way too uncomfortable when Harley is around. Should I say something?
- Doggedly scared
Dear Doggedly scared: Absolutely. There are ways to work around the dog, so it is best to be up-front with your boyfriend so you can concentrate on your relationship and not the crazy canine. You have two options here. First, you can simply try avoiding contact with the dog. Have your boyfriend over your house instead of going to his. When you do go to your boyfriend’s place, see if Harley can stay outside or in a different room. The other option is to work on your relationship with Harley. You’ll need to show him you are the boss, and you won’t tolerate bad behavior. In order to accomplish that, I suggest either watching Cesar Millan’s show, “The Dog Whisperer,” or reading the book, “How to Be Your Dog’s Best Friend” by the Monks of New Skete.
Have a question on love, life, or etiquette? Don’t be shy - Ask Emily at
or write in care of The Burg, P.O. Box 10129, Lynchburg, VA 24506. Then go to http://www.the-burg.com, where you can leave a comment.
COMMENTS