Ask Emily: Give ride a chance
By Susan Pugh on May. 22, 2008
Dear Emily: My wife and I work in the same office building and drive to work together everyday. The commute is about 45 minutes. We recently found out that another employee in the building lives in our neighborhood, and she asked to carpool with us. I think it would be a great way to save some money on gas, but my wife says she doesn’t want to be “inconvenienced” by driving someone else. What should we do?
- Carpooling conundrum
Dear Carpooling conundrum: When considering your side of the argument, an extra person sharing the cost of gas is a great advantage. You’ll also cut down on air pollution by getting a car off the road. But on the con side, you’ll have another person’s schedule to deal with. You’ll also have less quality time with your wife (you can’t freely complain about your workday or co-workers with a stranger along for the ride). Try carpooling a few days a week only and making everyone happy, at least part of the time.
Dear Emily: My best friend and I always hang out at the same coffee shop together, and have been for months. There is a new employee who works there, and we both developed a little crush on him. We joke about asking him out on a date with both of us at the same time, and letting him chose which one of us (if either) he would like to go out on a second date with. But even though we both make light of the situation, I do want to ask him out for real, and I think she does, too. How do we not let this guy come between us?
- Coffee shop cutie
Dear Coffee shop cutie: Find a different coffee shop. Seriously. Every scenario that could go on here has the potential to end badly. If this guy chooses one friend over the other, the rejected one will never forgive the other. If one friend agrees to back off and let the other have a shot with the guy, there will be resentment issues. Going after the same guy may also bring out some ugly competitive issues as well. So you both need to ask yourselves if a crush is worth more than a friendship. Most likely the answer is no, so I reiterate, find a different coffee shop.
Dear Emily: I’m bothered by my wife’s choice of pastime. She is addicted to reading romance novels, and I’m worried that this says something about our marriage. Should I be worried that she’s going to leave me for someone more handsome or exciting, like the characters she reads about?
- Fretting over fiction
Dear Fretting over fiction: Women enjoy reading chick-lit (or watching chick-flicks) because it’s fun to be caught up in fantasy. We’re not looking for a tall, dark and handsome stranger to whisk us away (well, at least not most of us), but just to escape for a while in a fun, alternative reality. In fact, we’d settle for a guy who remembers to pick up the milk on his way home from work and volunteers to clean up after dinner once in awhile. Don’t worry about your wife’s hobby. Do, however, recognize that romantic gestures aren’t lost on her, and it would be sweet to do something special for her once in a while.
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