Ask Emily for September 17
By Susan Pugh on Sep. 17, 2008
Dear Emily: I have a great job that I’ve been doing for the past eight months now, and I don’t want to quit. The thing is, the commute is just about killing me. It takes me nearly two hours to get to work, and I have to get on the road by 6 o’clock in the morning to beat traffic. I don’t want to move either; I love my house, my neighbors, and my town. Is a bad commute a stupid reason to quit a good job? I just feel like I’m spending my life in the car.
— Dreary drive versus dream job
Dear Dreary drive: You know that cliché, “you can’t have your cake and eat it, too?” Well, it applies directly to you at the moment. It would be great if we never had to make sacrifices, but very often life is about compromise. So unless you can change your hours at work to avoid rush hour and spend less time on the road, you are going to have to make a tough choice. Which is more important, your job or your house? Good jobs aren’t easy to find, and houses and apartments are in abundance in some places, so consider that when making your pro and con list.
Dear Emily: I am really turned off by politics right now due to all the smear campaigns by both presidential nominees. I decided I would write in my vote this year for the presidential election as a message to both parties. My friend is furious with me for this, though, because she says I am just throwing my vote away. Will my voice be heard if I follow my plan, or is my friend right?
— Political predicament
Dear Political predicament: There are probably better ways to voice your opinion than writing in your vote. First of all, you need to check the rules about write-ins. Some states don’t allow them, and in most other states a write-in must be for someone who is a registered candidate (meaning Daffy Duck wouldn’t really stand a chance). Unregistered write-ins could be thrown out, too, and you don’t want your entire ballot discarded, do you? Then all of your other votes for local positions would not get counted either. If you want politicians to know you aren’t happy, write some letters to the editor of your local papers, campaign for a candidate you do like or start a political blog to get your message out. But don’t throw your vote away.
Dear Emily: I have a new puppy that needs constant attention. Next week I am going to my parents’ house to help with yard work (they are elderly and can’t do it themselves), and I obviously can’t leave the dog alone. My mom refuses to have a dog in her house because she insists he will chew and scratch her good furniture. I don’t think that is very fair of them, since I am traveling out of town for their benefit. Should I tell my parents how I feel, or am I being silly?
— Puppy versus parents
Dear Puppy versus parents: Imagine that you really want an apple pie, but don’t know how to bake one. Your mother, out of the goodness of her heart, decides to make one for you, but she put walnuts in it, and you’re allergic to walnuts. Could you imagine your mom saying, “But son, I went to all the trouble of making you this pie, at least you could let me put walnuts in it since I like them?” Of course not. Favors aren’t supposed to come with conditions or complaints. So just because you’re doing something nice for your parents doesn’t mean they’re obligated to put their furniture at risk in return. You can’t blame your mom — puppies are notorious for destructive and unpredictable behavior. So ask your mom if the dog could stay in a crate at her house, or maybe confined to a certain room. If not, see if a friend or neighbor can dog-sit while you’re gone being a dutiful son.
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