Ask Emily: DD lets group down
By Casey Gillis on Mar. 20, 2008
Dear Emily: The other weekend some friends and I went to a bar, and our friend, “Scott,” was the designated driver. After an hour of being there, everyone but Scott had some drinks. At this point, Scott decided he wanted to drink, too, so he decided we’d all just get a cab and split the fare when it was time to go home. Cab fare can be costly though, which is one of the reasons we agreed to have a designated driver. We all take turns, so it’s not like Scott was being totally inconvenienced. I think he should have paid for the cab, not everyone else. Should I say something?
- Costly Cab Ride
Dear Costly Cab Ride: Making you shell out some extra cash is certainly annoying, but your friend is guilty of an even greater offensive. Let’s face it - we all have had a few too many drinks at one time or another, and have been unable to make the most intelligent decisions. You and your friends made a smart decision when you chose to have a designated driver, but unfortunately Scott wasn’t as smart. You relied on him, and he put himself in a position where he couldn’t be relied on. That could have had dangerous consequences. Your friends need to redefine the rules of being the group’s designated driver. And while you’re at it, you might as well ask Scott for the cab fare back.
Dear Emily: I work as an assistant to a distribution manager at my company, and I do a lot of data entry, customer correspondence and other tasks to assist my boss, “Louis.” I’ve worked at this job for eight months and really enjoy what I do. But over the past month, Louis has been asking me more and more to do things that aren’t in my job description, but in his. And he isn’t asking me to do the challenging things, but the menial tasks that he just doesn’t want to bother with. How can I get him to do his own job without losing mine?
- Belittling Boss
Dear Belittling Boss: You better make a move before you’re fetching coffee and picking up dry cleaning. Once your boss sees that he can get away with passing his work off to you, he won’t stop. So have a chat with him and find out what his expectations of you are, and what long-term goals he has in mind. More importantly, make sure he knows what goals you have set for yourself. Maybe Louis is grooming you for a promotion. Or maybe he is just taking advantage of you. Either way, you need to talk to him and make sure that you are on the right track.
Dear Emily: My friend and I haven’t been talking as much as we used to over the past few years since she moved out of state. I expected her to call for my 30th birthday this past week, but instead I got a card with a 20-dollar bill inside. We used to get each other birthday gifts years ago, but not lately, so the $20 was a complete surprise - and a little insulting. It was like she put no thought into my birthday, and just stuck some money in a card to be done with it. I want to say something to her, but I don’t want to make our friendship any worse. What do I do?
- Curious about cash
Dear Curious about cash: Gifts of cash are alright, when they come from grandparents, distant relatives you haven’t seen in awhile or the IRS - not from a friend who knows you better than almost anyone else. Your friend’s gift choice is odd, to say the least, so you should definitely address this issue before your friendship becomes even more unstable. Just be honest with her and tell her that the “gift” caught you by surprise, and you were rather disappointed in her decision. Explain that the reason why you are bringing this issue up is not to hurt her feelings, but rather to restore your friendship. Hopefully, she’ll appreciate your effort and honesty, and be willing to work at this friendship a little harder in the future.
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