Ask Emily: Best friend, best boss?
By Casey Gillis on May. 12, 2010
Dear Emily: My best friend in the whole entire world just got a huge promotion at her job. She now has the authority to hire anyone she wants for her department. Knowing that I am miserable at my current job, she offered me a position at her company to work for her. I was so flattered that she would do this for me! But I have my doubts that this is a good idea. I am not fully qualified for the job she is offering me, and while she said on-the-job training is not a problem, what if I let her down? I’d hate to ruin our friendship by putting us both in the awkward position of her having to fire me! Should I take the job?—Best friend or boss?
Dear Best friend or boss: First you need to make sure you want this job—I mean really want it—before putting your friendship to the test. Do a lot of research and ask a lot of questions before considering this position, reducing the chance that it won’t be the right fit for you. Then, if you decide this is an opportunity you don’t want to pass you by, start evaluating your friendship. What if your friend isn’t the type of boss you expected? If she is hard on you, can you handle the pressure? And what if you are not the employee she expected? Will she be able to treat you just like any other employee? You, and your friend, need to seriously consider these things. But if you think your friendship is strong enough to endure what may come, and you really want this job, go for it.
Dear Emily: I am a thirty-six-year-old female with an embarrassing problem. My hair is beginning to thin out and I think I’m balding. Are there products I can use to stop this? I see a lot of advertisements for men, but never women.—Hair today, gone tomorrow
Dear Hair today, gone tomorrow: There are products you can use for women’s hair loss, like Rogaine, but you need to address the cause of your hair loss first. While hair loss for women is actually quite common (something like two thirds of women experience some kind of hair loss), there could be a bigger problem here. Hair loss can be caused by stress, illness, or hormonal problems. Talk to your doctor to rule out that your predicament isn’t due to anything serious. Then hit the drug stores and look for some over-the-counter solutions.
Dear Emily: I have lived with my boyfriend at his apartment for a year now, and can’t stand the decor. He has sports memorabilia in every room, making the place look like a college frat house. I beg him to let me redecorate but he won’t have it. How do I convince him to let me spruce things up a bit so it feels like an adult apartment?—Decorating nightmare
Dear Decorating nightmare: Your boyfriend may be scared about your idea of a “spruce.“ While you don’t want to live in something resembling a Sports Hall of Fame, I’m sure he doesn’t want to have his place look like the Botanical Gardens either (or whatever his perception of what a woman’s touch would be). So ask him if you can redecorate just one room. Then, if he likes it, you can start negotiated the rest of the place. Besides, now that you have shared this residence for a year, shouldn’t you be allowed to feel at home too?
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